Stay Connected to your Tribe

Long before COVID-19 threatened our world, another virus has been causing isolation and social distancing- the pandemic of disconnection and loneliness. It seems a contradiction to say we are becoming increasingly disconnected in a world where cyberspace and social media offer more connections than ever before. You have endless choice regarding what you will give your attention to- cute animals, funny kids, car crashes, the latest conspiracy theory- all in bite sized intervals. It’s a world you have more control over than the real world. With the click of a button you can make friends, ignore people, de-friend people- minus the awkwardness. This alternate reality rewards you for your contribution with ‘like’ buttons, views and shares and opportunities for acknowledgement. Every status update is a request- would someone please acknowledge me? And that request is usually granted.

But is our immersion in the virtual world healthy? Could our obsession with virtual connection be creating a breeding ground for loneliness? What if, in embracing the world wide web community we have inadvertently dismantled our tribe? Perhaps we are progressively becoming tribe-less; alone and exposed to the predators of vulnerable, lonely souls. Predators such as hopelessness, depression and suicidality.

Maybe what we need in order to be healthy human beings is the physical presence of someone we can touch, smell and hear. Perhaps our need for deep connection requires us to be exposed to one another’s tell-tale nuances that hint at how they are really feeling. A screen mediated relationship robs us of the opportunities to connect with our whole selves and the joy that comes with being fully present for one another.

It is not that physical closeness is the ultimate panacea for loneliness. Feeling lonely is more complex than being physically alone. Studies have shown that the sensation of loneliness has no correlation with how many people are physically close to you. Anyone who has been in a large gathering where they knew no-one can confirm this. So what is it we need in order to eliminate loneliness? The answer is found in what holds a tribe together. Examine any tribe and you will discover a shared value and meaning that creates a sense of togetherness. When you are part of a tribe, you share something with another person or group that is meaningful to both of you. It is in the mutuality and sharing of what we care about that we nurture closeness and connection.

In order to prevent feelings of loneliness in this time of quarantine, it is vital to stay connected with your tribe. This obviously involves screen mediated communication as we are denied physical access to one another. While we enjoy the technological benefits of staying in touch, let us be wary that this does not become our new normal. Don’t forfeit the pleasure of face to face encounters for the convenience of staying home and clicking a button. When restrictions are relaxed, turn off the devices and get out and celebrate together. Embrace your tribe and experience the joys of sharing proximity and intimacy.